The Overlooked Shift in Wealthy Families

More than 80% of wealthy families today are first-generation wealth creators (Harvard Business Review, March 2022). They often grew up in blue-collar households where interdependence was part of everyday life—families relied on one another, pooled resources, and negotiated daily decisions.

But in creating success, those same families often raise their children in a culture of independence. Each child has their own room, their own car, their own opportunities. Without the necessity of shared decision-making, the habits of interdependence fade.

"Families are interdependent by necessity," explains family governance expert Tom Rogerson. "But when wealth removes that necessity, you have to be intentional about building connection back in."

Estate plans cover taxes and transfers, but they don't address this cultural shift. That's where legacy planning begins—restoring the bonds that wealth, left unchecked, can quietly erode.

Preparing Children for More Than Money

In many affluent households, parents worry that talking about wealth will create entitlement. As a result, they stay silent. The unintended consequence? Children grow up with resources but without context.

"In lower net worth families, 14-year-olds often know how to buy a car," Tom observes. "In higher net worth families, the Range Rover just shows up. The kids never learn how decisions are made."

Preparing children for money isn't about disclosing balances. It's about teaching decision-making, tradeoffs, and priorities. A conversation about why the family chose one car over another can be more valuable than a dollar figure ever shared.

"Most people feel they've prepared their money for their children," Rogerson explains, "but not their children for the money."

Governance: The Glue of Family Unity

For many, the word governance conjures bylaws and boardrooms. Tom reframes it simply: governance is how a group makes decisions together.

"In most families, we don't talk about decision-making structures. We just argue it out. That leaves bent noses and hurt feelings that last for years," he notes.

In interdependent households, decision-making was constant. Wealth creates independence, which erases practice in how to decide together.

Good governance doesn't have to be complicated. It might start with family meetings where the focus is more on the family itself rather than just the money. Over time, those practices give families confidence—not just in their assets, but in each other.

The Family Bank: An Entrepreneurial Incubator

First-generation wealth creators often learned resilience and teamwork in entrepreneurial incubators: blue-collar households where everyone pitched in. Their children, raised in independence, miss those lessons.

Tom describes the danger bluntly: "Most wealthy families don't know it, but they've created an entrepreneurial kill zone for their kids."

A Family Bank can restore those lessons. Structured as loans with accountability, it creates a safe arena for children and grandchildren to propose ventures—from a lemonade stand to a start-up—and learn by doing.

"It's about giving them the chance to try, learn, and try again," Tom explains. "Entrepreneurs learn by doing, not by waiting until they feel fully prepared."

Conflict is Inevitable—But Division Isn't

In interdependent households, conflict had to be resolved—there was no easy exit. In wealthy, independent families, conflict can quickly lead to separation: different schools, towns, or even countries.

Tom reframes conflict as normal, but emphasizes how it's managed:

• Seek to understand before convincing.
• Avoid triangulation (ganging up on one member).
• Learn negotiation as a skill, not a battlefield.

"Conflict is inevitable," Tom says. "Being a jerk is optional."

When families learn to approach conflict with curiosity and grace, they strengthen unity—a hallmark of successful family governance.

From Estate Plan to Legacy Plan

An estate plan may protect assets. But a legacy plan protects families. The difference lies in restoring interdependence: preparing children, practicing governance, fostering entrepreneurship, and handling conflict with care.

Tom summarizes it well: "At the end of the day, after you've done this work of family governance, you can ask: is our estate plan funding our vision of the family 75 years from now? If it is, then it's a legacy plan."

He adds that legacy isn't just about financial tools. It's about investing in family culture—creating habits, conversations, and connections that last.

Want to Discover More About Building a Legacy Plan for Your Family?

Tom Rogerson will share more at HORAN Wealth's Private Wealth event, Beyond the Balance Sheet: Building Family Trust, Purpose & Prosperity, on November 12. We believe legacy is something to be shared together—which is why this event is designed for your entire family.

Clients are encouraged to bring spouses, children, and even grandchildren into the conversation. Together, you'll explore ideas that spark connection and planning across generations. For an invitation, please contact your HORAN advisor or email privatewealth@horanwealth.com.

As always, the best place to start is with a conversation. At HORAN, we've spent four generations guiding families to live more abundantly and productively—now and for generations to come. Learn more at HORANWealth.com.

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